29 of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (December 21, 2024)

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  • 01
    She-Rage, Princess of Pain @ClaireMax. 17h It's hilarious to me that every microwave has a "popcorn" button and every package of microwave popcorn says DO NOT USE POPCORN BUTTON 346 15.4K 143K 3K
  • 02
    ian karmel @IanKarmel Every gift guide for men is like "A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey." . 1:09 PM 12/8/24 641K Views • 46 1.8K 36K ☐ 712
  • 03
    Ross Sayers @Sayers33.1d Hi mate I notice you've started the Teams meeting 2 minutes early. Have fun in there. See you in 2 and a half minutes. 142 17 10K 136K ☐ 2.4K
  • 04
    Chi-*- @iamchiomaa_ • 2d Christmas is in two weeks and ion even got the thought that counts 180 22K 111K 2.8K ↑
  • 05
    jes tom @jestom new workout goal is to have a body where after I commit a crime, the media posts my shirtless pics and everyone's like WOW 2:26 PM 12/9/24 4.2M Views 187 1 19K 265K 6.9K
  • 06
    anna @annachessen hey did you know luigi mangione at penn? yeah he's cute did you match with him? you're not going to believe this 4:57 PM 12/9/24 5.6M Views . 121 17 8.8K 330K ☐ 9.6K 企
  • 07
    April Glick Pulito TS (@aprilgli. @aprilglick Luigi Mangione sounds like what JK Rowling would name an Italian character 1:36 PM 12/9/24 1.3M Views • 4 15.1K 79K ☐ 1.1K ↑
  • 08
    Deep Singh Badhesha @DeepNotShallow y'all are so unserious 5 L Go Bioworld Super Mario Bros Luigi Pom- Pom Knit Beanie Cap Green 4.8 100,000+ bought today $1999 ✔prime Two-Day FREE delivery Wed, Dec 11 Arrives before Christmas Ships with your recent order Add to cart
  • 09
    Ginny Hogan_ @ginnyhogan somewhere in a jail cell in Pennsylvania, Luigi Mangione is saying "no not Penn State" to a cop. 7:45 PM 12/9/24 1.2M Views • . 86 1 2K 49K ☐ 1.4K 企
  • 10
    Mike Beauvais ORONTO EVERYB @MikeBeauvais Luigi Mangione shouldn't have gone to McDonald's. BURGER Burger King⭑ KING @BurgerKing We don't snitch. 4:27 PM Dec 9, 2024 2.4K Retweets 511 Quote Tweets 18.7K Likes 17 • 4:29 PM 12/9/24 1.3M Views • 245 27 5K 66K 1.6
  • 11
    Spencer Althouse @SpencerAlthouse if you're still in line for the Luigi Mangione conjugal visit STAY IN LINE 4:22 PM 12/9/24 811K Views • 57 27 3K 45K ☐ 1.3K
  • 12
    big content guy @bigcontentguy i don't think he's the guy. the shooter used a silencer and an italian would never attempt to be quiet in public 4:11 PM 12/9/24 485K Views 36 11.1K 17K 421 企
  • 13
    Coastal Country Club @ccmembersonly Received a wedding invite that specifically said on the dress code line "No Apple Watches please" 10:39 PM 12/9/24 4.9M Views . 866 15.2K 104K 2.5K
  • 14
    Jasmine @JasmineLWatkins • 8h It's giving slay-action pass ! SPORTS Yahoo Sports @YahooSports. 1d Saints QB Jake Haener is set to get his first career start against the Commanders on Sunday, per @nick_underhill. STARTING
  • 15
    Adam Ozimek ❤ @ModeledBehavior Text a coworker at a random time "are you joining this meeting?" as a fun holiday prank 2:40 PM 12/11/24 157K Views . 18 17 288 4.6K ☐ 249
  • 16
    annie @soychotic Can someone do a correlation study on kids who were started with mac computers versus windows pcs and tech illiteracy or even just general problem solving skills because I have a Hypothesis • 10:04 AM 12/9/24 11M Views • 2.2K 17 8.8K 199K 18K ↑
  • 17
    The tumboy @TheTumboy guy 1: There'll be parties for hosting guy 2: Marshmallows for toasting and caroling out in the snow guy 3 (has no idea what Christmas is): There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago 12:12 PM 12/9/24 1.2M Views 107 4.1K 62K ☐ 2.9K 企
  • 18
    ALT Cory Booker ✶ @CoryBooker HOSTR GGO GO GO I wanna thank me for just being me at all times. U.S. Senate Updates @Senate Floor.2d 4:27 p.m. Senator Booker paid tribute to Senator Booker. bit.ly/SFloor
  • 19
    She's Fishy > ◊ @ShesFishy "I thought I told you to stay home?" AA K 9:58 PM 12/9/24 3.5M Views 332 1 5.7K 108K ☐ 2.8K ↑
  • 20
    Chin @chinremoval This first medical bill off his parents insurance shocked him into straight action omg trash jones @jzux. 1d 26 is such a funny age to assassinate a healthcare CEO • 2:59 PM 12/9/24 9.5M Views 232 1726K 301K 7.7K 企
  • 21
    Antoine Hardy @Slangdini. 2d A real hustler blessed yall .. Eric Woodyard @E_Woodyard. 3d Only in Detroit! A rack full of minks were donated at the Winter Coat Drive. 0:04 72 17 9.6K 128K ☐ 2.3K 企
  • 22
    Josh Jeffery @JeffCarnage. 19h Pain Au Sockalat Nicola. @NicolaSillyBum. 1d What's happening here?
  • 23
    big boy online @idonotbleed ⚫1d son: *counts to ten* wife: good job me: (smugly) eleven 59 1 5.1K S
  • 24
    KACHIA → @Kachidey4you. 1d So basically, companies pay Youtube to show ads and we pay Youtube to not show ads KACHI @Kachidey4you. 1d Just realized something 933 23K 193K ☐ 5.6K
  • 25
    Feru✰ @ferupity. 1d Y'all can't tell me God ain't real dawg POPEYE
  • 26
    McDad @mcdadstuff. 11/17/24 Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P 11 160 1K ☐ 15 ↑
  • 27
    Ted @Tedoffthegrid. 1d Last night I served this couple and I said "hey how are you ladies tonight?" And one said "we are great thanks" and in the thickest Jamaican accent her girlfriend stopped her and said "dont tell her I'm good. I'm never good. I'm awful. I need food immediately" obsessed with her 8 314 11K ☐ 219 企
  • 28
    rissa @billskarsgards - 12h he looks like he was trying to steal the sarcophagus but got interrupted and had to act natural postgrau gettyimages® Credit: Eric Charbonneau
  • 29
    Rob DenBleyker @RobDenBleyker. 4h why is it called "owl city" if there's 10 million. fireflies and no owls. should be called firefladelphia. 7 2727 317 ☐ 4

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